Thought You Saw the Last of Me?

So you thought I would not post for two weeks? You thought wrong! I stole about twenty different electronic gizmos and gadgets, I broke 753 laws, and I murdered several Italians, but I finally got to a computer to make a post.
In Italy, I have been really busy! First day, I went to Venice. It does not have any cars, only pathways and gondolas (little boats) that travel on the canals. They are very cool, and I got to take a ride in one of them. Our gondolier was talking on the phone as he was steering the boat! It sort of ruined the scene.
The next day, I went to Florence (and got a few pictures of horses for Horse Love, I might add). Florence is awesome, too. I climbed the huge bell tower and nearly killed myself doing it, and I went to the Ufizi gallery and saw my fill of classical statues for the day. (I also saw my fill of naked classical statues, because most of the statues were naked guys. If Dreamer were there, she would be going, "Eww, yuck, eww, YUCK!" the entire time.) I saw a replica of "The David" by Michelangelo.
It also rained in Florence -- OOPS!!! I mean, the sprinkler system went off. Dad/Master Joe told everyone that it did NOT rain in Italy, and so therefore the drops of water falling from the sky must be the sprinkler system, and not rain.
Then we went to Assisi, San Gimignano (just say Saint Jimmy), and other places. I just got back from Taormina today. It was upper eighties, and really hot, but in Rome it is supposed to be like a hundred degrees.
I probably should have talked a little bit about the airplane and airport. It was a nine hour flight, during which I saw The Green Hornet and Harry Potter 7, Part 1. The Green Hornet was pretty good, to those of you who will want a report on it. Kato is AWESOME!!! Anyway, the downside to the first flight was that I threw my guts up, but otherwise, I guess that it was okay. Then we landed in the Paris airport. Great, you say, but we were stuck in the France terminal for TWELVE HOURS!!! Our flight kept on getting delayed, and then it was finally cancelled, then we had to wait for another flight, then THAT was delayed, and then we finally boarded the plane. I would rather not talk about the Terminal of Doom, so let us move on.
We then had a two-hour flight to Venice. All in all, 23 hours of getting to Italy. Remind me never to fly with Air France again. 
Also, our hotel rooms are haunted by a ghost. The first night we were here, my hotel room had no bathroom light. It was put out by the ghost, whose name is Jonnothon Rigl (pronounced Jonathan Wriggle). Jonnothon was a girl whose mother always wanted her to be a guy, so she named her Jonnothon, cut her hair short, and taught her to make her voice low. Jonnothon was born in the Paris airport, because her mother was Italian, and they would not let her in a Parisian airport, so she just gave birth to Jonnothon in the airport. (The same one that we waited in for twenty million years.) There is a long story about her father, but I would rather not go into that right now. It willl suffice to say that he was part four-year-old Welsh alien. So later, a friend of her father, a four-year-old Welsh alien named Zork, was supposed to pick her up at the Paris airport, but they had to take Zork back to his home planet, Zaicon. Thus, Jonnothon stayed in the airport until she died. When we were there, she fell asleep in Katy's bag and traveled to Italy with us. Now, if there's something wrong with your hotel room, it's caused by Jonnothon Rigl.
There's MUCH more to the story, but that's all for now.
Well, Raistlin seems to be getting more popular. I think he has a fair chance at the position of vice president. I may have not mentioned this, but if nobody runs against him, then he may just get the position whether he does a good job or not. But only if nobody runs against him.
So how is everyone? I'm sorry that I couldn't meet the McClains, but ah, such is life. I'll be back in a few days, and probably document the entire tale of Jonnothon Rigl.
One more thing. Our tour guide is a modern Roman named Stefano, and our bus driver is an awesome Neopolitan (a guy from Naples) named Salvatore who is the best driver in the world. He can listen to music, drive, talk, and play with the radio at the same time. He also doesn't speak English. We were driving along, and on the other side of the road a guy with a broken leg was riding a scooter. As he passed us, Salvatore said something in Italian, and Stefano said, "Salvatore is saying, 'Come closer and I will break the other leg for you.'". Also, two people in our group (Kendra and Katy) decided that when they became rich and famous, they would hire him as their bus driver. They figured that if they just stood around Naples and shouted, "Where's Salvatore?" then people would just be like, "Oh, the bus driver?" and know exactly what they were talking about.   
So long for now. Cheers, or as they say in Italia, "Salud!"
-President Fantasy