"Raz" ! "Get over here , and I told you not to roll in the mud after a bath "! Shouted his dad . Raz trotted over to his dad and Marco [his best bud] trailed behind . "Son now it's time to get serious you are going into the big race in a week and you must be ready, once you win this race you have only three other race's and the last, the race of the rising sun".Raz thought to him self "I can win the first race for sure but the race of the rising sun will be no paster "."Now get that silly friend of yours and go practice " Whinnied his father.Raz left his father in the paster and went to the the gate and whinnied very loud and to his pleaser a human walked over and with a "click" attached the lead line and lead Raz away . A shout was heard and a human came to him yelling" I am not going to ride this three ton ball of horse let alone race him in the race of the rising sun "! "He is skinny, ugly, and has a temper that has a mind of its self "! But as this two legged went on about Raz, the Boss of Pine Hill Stable's ,Mary interrupter " and he's the best ,most attractive, and sweet horse. you aren't going to be able ride let alone race him with out smiling I grantee it !" "OK now what is his name "?He said sarcastily. Razberry Day Tart and Tangy and his sire Razberry Night Blue and Bold . "Very good now let me try him on for size .The new jockey lead him to the starting gates an he hoped on to Raz's back .The gate opened and Raz was running .Raz was flying down the track with his eye's flaming he turned the first corner and had gained more speed as he turned the second corner his stride has super long and he sprinted faster than one of the pro race horses but ha himself was to be consider a pro when he win's his first race. As he was coming to the home stench his jockey taped harder with his whip and he was on fire 'he was almost at the end of the track so Raz trust forward and exhilarate so hard and so fast his jockey fell from the saddle and was on the ground .Raz slowed down as fast as he could but his jockey was up and coming towards him by the time he slowed.
-So far all I got Horses Love
Very nice! I like the name Razberry Day, Tart and Tangy a lot. Also, I think that you always do a great job on naming your characters and stories. You're doing amazing. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHere's my ONE little suggestion on it. It would be nice to make it a LITTLE bit clearer on who is talking when. Sometimes it's hard to figure out who is speaking. Otherwise, it was REALLY good!!!
-President Fantasy