It begins now. His heart raced and his flanks heaved as he ready ed him self for the beginning of the end .As his master shifted in his seat his ears flinched "It's all right my Trenton they shall surrender at the sound of a thousand hooves ." This was coming to his ear's. He comped nervously at his bit for he was unsurten of his future to come . His comrade Twotock [ a fiery paint horse with a promble with anxiety] was also nervous and in desperation started to prance but his master made sure Twotock did not march forward till Sir Trenton's master ,Captain Petaro called "charge" . Sir Trenton's other comrade was a Wisp O Sliver .[ a beautiful sliver mare, hence the name drop dead pretty , and will do anything for her master.] She stood tall only moving her tail to swish the fly's of her back . " Steady men , all good thing's come to though who wait " said Captain Petaro calmly. I wish I could go forward to meat my destiny ,to defeat the Torebadin's . Sliver we shall rondavo at the apple garden of the north , Trenton whinnied . Oh and relay this mesage to Twotock it might help him cool down .Towtock was frantic and was starting to semi rear when Sliver was walking to relay the mesage to him . My Trenton it's time ."CARGE"! Trenton leaped froward with so much ferocity that the captain was all most throw off his mount .Trenton was speeding forword but Twotock was so fast his rider was gripping to the saddle and screeming like a little baby with out it's mama . Sliver was so beautiful he soon be came distratied by her enchating look's and.........................
- so far all I got Horse Love
- so far all I got Horse Love
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ReplyDeleteOops I accidently didn't make a good thing about that. THAT WAS REALLY GOOD, COOL, AMAZING, AWESOME. And that was really nice.
ReplyDelete-Dreamer
I am very sorry I didn't comment before. I had to do some judging on contest entries...but that is extremely good. I like the names very much. I would like you to read it out loud to me sometimes so I can be sure I'm understanding it correctly.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I am confused. Are you finished with this? Because if you enter this into the Short Stories, you'll probably have points taken off because it's not finished. If it's just the beginning of a story, then it should be entered in Creative Writing. Keep up the good work!
-President Fantasy
Oh, okay, I think it's not done. I see now. Sorry. I really like it so far! When I started reading, I was like, "Whoa, is that HORSE LOVE?"
ReplyDelete:)
-President Fantasy