Super Secret Post: Do Not Read Under Any Circumstances!!!

Now that you've broken the rules and read the post, you might as well hear everything.
Loyal club members, I am officially announcing a new contest!!!
Yes. This contest begins right now, and ends on June 15th. I will give the contest details here:
Basically, this is a writing contest. There are four categories: Short Stories, Poetry, Scripts, Reports, and Creative Writing. In each category there will be four prizes awarded: Funniest, Most Creative, Best Planned Out, and Best Overall. (Some of these prizes will have different names, but you get the gist of it.)
You may enter anything into these categories. You may enter as many pieces as you want. Twenty poems and thirty short stories are just fine, but the prizes can only be awarded to one each. For example, only one of your short stories can be awarded for Funniest, even though one the same person wrote all twenty.
Short Stories: They will be judged on their humor, creativity, and overall cleverness. While humor is an asset, well-timed humor is essential. For example, if your story is simply meant to "be funny", then it may not actually end up being very funny, because there was nothing but jokes in it. You also may have a very interesting or original story. Remember, you're not necessarily going for Funniest, Most Creative, or Best Planned Out. You could want Best Overall! (Extra prizes may be awarded for outstanding stories.)
Poetry: Poetry should give a message with a certain style. It can be humorous, or creative. It's the same prizes as the Short Stories.
Scripts: Scripts could be screenplays, plays, or skits. It's the same prizes as everything else.
Reports: Yeah, I know, school reports, blecch...but these are very different. You could write a report explaining why Richard Maxwell is the hero of Daring Deeds, Sinister Schemes. Or maybe tell about how the President of the United States is an alien.
Creative Writing: Anything that doesn't fit into the other categories. Songs, ideas, weird stuff...submit it here. It does have to be writing, though. But if it's writing and it's creative...go ahead.
If you have any questions, leave a comment. The prizes will be certificates and just maybe something special. Additional prizes and categories may be added as needed.
Once you have all your entries ready:
Make a post titled "(Your name's) Contest Entries". Or make separate posts for each entry, depending on how many you have. Identify what category it's in, and any additional information necessary. Have the contest entries in by June 15th. The contest winners will be announced around June 20th.
Be creative, and have fun in the Lords of the Pencil First Annual Fantastic Writing Contest of Awesomeness!
And here's your Odyssey of the day:

Whit Flying Above Odyssey!

-President Fantasy